A Pacers fan posted a Craigslist ad in the Indianapolis Lost & Found section for Paul George’s “Missing Talent” on Monday:
The talent for short-lived NBA superstar Paul George has gone missing. We’re desperate to reunite the talent back with the body before the NBA playoffs start in a few weeks. We’ve checked everywhere. Strip clubs. Sex Shops. Moron Mountain. Tune Land. No luck so far.
His jump shot has been missing since December! This is the longest it’s ever been gone. We think it might have something to do with that stripper he impregnated in Miami, but she’s gone AWOL. If you have any information about the whereabouts of his talent, please report back to Indiana Pacers President Larry Bird. Bird can be reached at any time of the day at The Rathskeller bar on 401 E. Michigan St.
***REWARD: When Indiana inevitably loses to Miami in the conference finals, we’ll find a way to supply you with LeBron’s sweaty head band.