While Time Magazine will count down their picks for the most influential people of the year sometime in the near future, GQ Magazine has something far more interesting in the meantime: “The Least Influential People of 2012″. Topping the parody list is this year’s biggest loser, Mitt Romney, followed by celebrity trainwreck of the year, Amanda Bynes, Madonna with a failed attempt at a comeback, and rounding out the top 4 is Dwight Howard and his circus show in Orlando.
According to GQ:
Congratulations, Dwight! You’re a Laker now. And all you had to do to become one was spend months making vague demands of the Orlando Magic and then backtracking on those demands like a spineless p**** until every American hated your guts and wanted to see you fail. “I’ll stay in Orlando if you fire my coach! Or maybe I won’t. Or maybe you could fire the coach and then build a statue of me made out of frozen butter. NO WAIT TRADE ME TO BROOKLYN NO WAIT DON’T TRADE ME THERE BECAUSE I THOUGHT BROOKLYN WAS MORE CONVENIENT TO MANHATTAN THAN IT ACTUALLY IS.” In a just world, Dwight Howard will hurt his knee and doctors will take seventeen months to make a proper diagnosis.